At some point in Everyone's Life, the Realization of your own Personal Responsibility parallel with Freedom of Choice comes. It emerges out of puberty, and sharpens during early college years into to adulthood as we grow older. We become more adaptive, understanding, and have more sense of direction in our own personal lives by experimenting with our own interests, talents & skills, various levels of interaction & chemistry with others, and experiences. We learn from all sources that we encounter, and are inspired & influenced (sharpened).
Every person, experience, resource, experimentation in the quality time spent doing things of interest shapes who We are as an Individual, and gives Us more to share with Others & Reciprocate into Society in some way.
The most powerful sense of self awareness comes from deciding: "What does my Life actually Depend on?" No one else can decide for you what you decide your life revolves around, or what it actually "depends" on. There is nothing wrong with pretentiousness if you realize that some are just being playful, and others do not necessarily take it seriously!
The things a person decides to focus on determine life's direction. Personal preferences, influences, inspirations, reactions all lead to having purpose & knowing what you need and want, and in setting all of the goals necessary in doing what is required in all of your own Life Plans.
When a person communicates with someone, they are not capable of knowing what your mindset is, your perspective, your direction in your own life, & what you have been through. Unless you are their child, their spouse, or a family member they are not responsible for your well-being. They can HOPE you are well, they can WISH you well, support you in your BEING well & for your plans for the future (only if you appreciate it, ask for help, advice & support when you actually need it & play the ROLE in solving YOUR PROBLEM). You need to be ready for a SOLUTION or a HEALTHY DIRECTION to INVOLVE someone else, or you actually blow your cover on what your true intention really are. Expecting MORE from someone that is not responsible for your well-being is not a normal way to approach others in society assuming that they are psychic & understand you, not being apart of their lives!
Most people expect others to be comfortable with their own personal roles & roles they play amongst the roles of others. They also expect you to communicate to others who you are, what you do & what your common ideas & interests are by DOING and EXPRESSING those things. There is nothing else for others to "go" on in order to participate in anything, to make time important outside of their lives, or to collaborate with you until this happens between yourself & others. Most people have their own lives GOING ON, their own plans for the future GOING ON, make time important with others, and feel comfortable PLAYING their own roles in the meantime. There really IS no other way to be involved with anything OUTSIDE of your own life.
There shouldn't ever be any problem with having the realization & discipline to come to terms with the Balance between the Respect for Your Own Life, and the Respect for the LIVES of OTHERS going on in LIEU of, & MAKE TIME IMPORTANT, instead of losing your way and expecting others to waste their time with someone that doesn't really care, isn't interested!
When people are genuinely interested, there isn't any pressure- they let each other know! They make time important. They find out HOW MUCH interest they have & in what ways.
When people genuinely CARE, there also isn't pressure- they let each other KNOW. They are apart of their lives. There is MUTUAL effort, care & concern. They play active roles in making time important and staying apart of their lives in some way. They stay in TOUCH!
When people are too full of themselves, it means it isn't important enough to make time important or make an effort. It takes a MUTUAL EFFORT to be genuinely interested, be involved, to care, like or love others, participate & keep in TOUCH! There isn't anyone else to blame, it just needs to "happen" with others that ARE important enough.
Social roles should not ever have pressure or desperation involved. It takes participation & communication & there is MUTUAL responsibility. There just isn't any other place outside of these areas available except "loitering", or wasting time on purpose (which isn't attractive).
When someone is not genuinely interested, and does not care about the other person's well-being ~ it really does smell a little fishy that this person is really wasting someone else's time with nothing to do with their own time in the meantime! (?)
Naturally, when initially communicating with another person that you may not be very familiar with, or not familiar with at ALL, you need to realize that Trust is not just given - it is Revealed mutually. It needs to first be established that you are a Human Being worthy of being seen this way & you are not putting the other person at RISK and move forward in communication from this point. Both sides have a MUTUAL RESPONSIBILITY to reveal who they are, for their own attitudes & perspectives, & how much they care and/or are interested.
No one in a rational state of adulthood is going to PUT YOUR feelings before their OWN. If you are their CHILD, SPOUSE or FAMILY MEMBER there are exceptions. Sensitivity toward others comes WITH sensitivity. There isn't anyone that is not going to protect & defend themselves until they realize who & how you really are. And this IS what is the best way to take care of yourself & not end up a victim. No one should expect you not to put your own feelings & comfort level first just as THEY do, and have the discipline to FIND OUT mutually how much you care or can interact.
Someone that isn't willing to acknowledge that others also are taking care of themselves, not responsible for putting themselves at risk, or who doesn't have mutual self respect isn't worth the effort, isn't worth knowing!
It is amazing to me that there ARE PEOPLE that EXPECT others to just "care" about them without them making an effort, without them having to care about others, and with out being mutually INTERESTED in each other. This sense of false expectation can lead to a lot of obsessive social diseases & sociopath behaviors that come from not "getting" something they feel they delusionally deserve from someone else's life for some reason unknown to the other person because it is not communicated in a rational way.
Relationships work like this:
You are either APART OF EACH OTHER'S LIFE, or... you're NOT! If you do not care, aren't genuinely interested, and not playing an active mutual role...you're NOT! There is no grey area. The responsible roles we all have to feel comfortable playing are not hard to see clearly. Some do not realize the difference between an acquaintance, and a friend! A spouse, and someone that you aren't on this level of intimacy with are obviously perceived & involved with this "person" differently. When...you are not APART of another person's life, a person can have ALL of the opinions and delusions you need to have but you still have to LIVE your OWN life that you ARE apart of. There really isn't anything to mutually take PERSONALLY in this other person's life unless you ARE apart of it.
We are all responsible for MANAGING our own PERSONAL lives & for being comfortable in our own roles we play amongst the roles of others. It is possible to contribute something MORE IMPORTANT toward the positive end and realize these things: the World doesn't revolve only around ONE PERSON whether they are APART of our lives or not, there isn't anyone that is ALL THINGS to ALL PEOPLE, and it is up to us to decide the direction in our own lives & communicate this to others. We're responsible for what we involve, include, share & what direction we decide to go.
Relationships & Personal Lives fall into place Naturally based on Mutual Interest, Mutual Effort, Mutual Care & Concern (Mutual Involvement).
